Parents of the Bride

Bride & Groom

Parents of the Groom

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana nananana...

Nananana nananana...

Nananana nananana...

 

 

 

It seems so dull, this wedding day, the priest was fine, the church looked grey

It seems so dull, this wedding day, the priest was fine, the church looked grey

It seems so dull, this wedding day, the priest was fine, the church looked grey

A very bland finger buffet, nobody caught the bride's bouquet

A very bland finger buffet, nobody caught the bride's bouquet

A very bland finger buffet, nobody caught the bride's bouquet

Time for us all to go outside now the photographer's arrived

Time for us all to go outside now the photographer's arrived

Time for us all to go outside now the photographer's arrived

We stand in line, pose side-by-side

We stand in line, pose side-by-side

We stand in line, pose side-by-side

 

 

 

Big gusts of wind, pouring with rain, a winter wedding is insane

Big gusts of wind, pouring with rain, a winter wedding is insane

Big gusts of wind, pouring with rain, a winter wedding is insane

Even inside is far too cool, whoever chose the date's a fool

Even inside is far too cool, whoever chose the date's a fool

Even inside is far too cool, whoever chose the date's a fool

The best man's speech? It really jarred, saying the groom is "small when hard"

The best man's speech? It really jarred, saying the groom is "small when hard"

The best man's speech? It really jarred, saying the groom is "small when hard"

Calling the bride "a tub of lard"

Calling the bride "a tub of lard"

Calling the bride "a tub of lard"

 

 

 

Infants cried throughout the wedding, screams and vomit, loud grunts   

Infants cried throughout the wedding, screams and vomit, loud grunts   

Infants cried throughout the wedding, screams and vomit, loud grunts   

Why were they not banned?

Why were they not banned?

Why were they not banned?

 

 

 

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Are we in love? We're not so sure, this wedding day is a bloody chore

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

A one night stand that became more, we should have taken more care for sure:

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

One torrid shag under a tree, and that turned into a pregnancy

Nananana... nananana... nananana nana nana...

Nananana nananana...

We felt we should "do the right thing" and so now we have exchanged our rings

Nananana nananana...

 

 

 

Our child's new spouse seems far too wild, not good enough for our dear child

In-laws

Our child's new spouse seems far too wild, not good enough for our dear child

Never cleans up: house smells of poo, and they are really ugly too

Rude and domineering

Never cleans up: house smells of poo, and they are really ugly too

The way they eat drives us so mad, and all their piercings makes us sad

Always interfering

The way they eat drives us so mad, and all their piercings makes us sad

Let's just face facts: this match is bad

In every thing

Let's just face facts: this match is bad

 

 

 

It's wrong

We gave our vows, we pledged our hearts, today's the start, "Death us do part"

It's wrong

She loves meat; he's vegan

"Forevermore husband and wife", well for a bit, but not for life

She loves meat; he's vegan

She hates dogs; he wants one

"When we have wealth, when we are poor", when we go broke, I'll leave you for

She hates dogs; he wants one

She can't stand his puns

A very rich young paramour

She can't stand his puns

 

 

 

Lalalala… lalalala… lalalala lala lala…

"Honour and trust, never tell lies", but I won't tell you I despise

Lalalala… lalalala… lalalala lala lala…

Lalalala… lalalala… lalalala lala lala…

All of your friends, apart from one, with whom I had some naughty fun

Lalalala… lalalala… lalalala lala lala…

Lalalala… lalalala… lalalala lala lala…

"Faithful to you", but I must say if you go wrinkly, fat or grey

Lalalala… lalalala… lalalala lala lala…

Lalalala… lalalala… lalalalalala

Then I'll be forced to play away

Lalalala… lalalala… lalalalalala

 

 

 

Drank so much booze, rum, gin & juice, we've put the bathroom to good use

Our mums

Though we look proud, inside we're dying: the bride's mum has drunk the whole bar dry!

Groom's dad, we swear, has gay affairs, winked at the priest when knelt in prayer

Got nasty on dark rum

Vulgar pink shawl! We are appalled! And her dress is stained with berry pie!

He said "Priest dear, are you well-hung? Meet me at six by the canal"

Called each other "pond scum!"

She's a disgrace! Tats on her face! We've paid for everything, we've been conned!

As for his wife, well she's so dull

Had a violent scrum

They haven't paid a single cent!

 

 

 

She's a sour trout, the Queen of Ice, sneering at us while she sips champagne

So glum

Don't let us start on the bride's dad - garlicky breath is really bad!

Outside she's calm, inside she's lost, drinks every day to blot out the pain

No more single life fun

Boy, does he eat! Ten plates of meat! Burping in time with the dance band!

Frigid lifestyle: last sex she had was with her butler in '91

Oh god, what have we done?

He's so hirsute! Has a black eye! And fondled Great Aunt Mildred's thighs!

 

 

 

Oh dear we've slipped! In some dog shit!

Tempted to run…

Such plebs they are…

 

 

 

Smile for the camera, please!

Smile for the camera, please!

Smile for the camera, please!